


Fear

by UnfairMaiden



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Demon Zayn Malik, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Evil, F/M, Help, Love, Protective Calum Hood, Sad, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 00:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12759801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfairMaiden/pseuds/UnfairMaiden
Summary: He clenched his teeth hard. So hard that I was sure he could feel the porcelain side. He took a deep breath, relaxed his jaw. "You have two choices," he said, "you can leave on your feet or on a gurney." I knew one thing for sure. Tonight, I had seen fear at it's worst.





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@irwxnhood on Wattpad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40irwxnhood+on+Wattpad).



**B R E E  
__________**

**Sometimes in life, things are thrown our way that we never see coming.** When it first hits us, we don't realise just how bad it will turn out to be. It feels like it's right, like it's supposed to be that way, and we don't realise just how perfect it feels. Too perfect. But then life gives you a nice big punch in the face, leaving you dumbfounded as you watch your life fall apart, powerless to change it. Eventually you get fed up with it, to say the least, and that's when you have to take your life by the reigns and control your own fate. Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world. Or in this instance, let your smile drive him to the brink of insanity.

* * *

I walked alone on the streets in the bitter air of Livermore. With the cold nipping at my nose and my hands stuffed into my pockets, I looked like any other pedestrian mad enough to walk around in the absurd weather. We were well known locally for our rather warm weather, but with winter rapidly approaching, it seemed that nobody had taken the time to notice that the town had gone bleak. The only thing left for me was the small music shop on First Street and the cinema. 

Blending in overwhelmed me with satisfaction; it meant that it was easier to go unnoticed, and easier not to be found. Escaping was never easy, but departing with the wretched place was all I had ever dreamed of since I had met Zayn. We were in love but then things changed, and things took a sharp turn. It gave me a nice, well-deserved slap to the face, and that was when I realised that instead of filling my life with bliss, he had only filled it with an endless feeling of angst. It had changed my character completely, and not in a way that I was content with admitting. I had to leave. 

I turned left at the stop light and strode down the sidewalk with my head held low as to avoid recognition. My destination wasn't much further, but I had to walk fast if I didn't want to miss the last bus that could take me as close to home as possible. Just as I was about to turn into the car park that led to the gym, my phone buzzed in my pocket and I groaned in agony as I pulled it out and flipped it open. It was a crappy phone, and cheap, but it functioned well enough. Which was the vital part about it. As usual, it was Zayn, and I naturally rolled my eyes. 

Zayn: Where are you? We need to talk. Now.

I shook my head and crammed the phone into my back pocket before returning to my procedure. Although, much to my dismay, the instant I lifted my head from the ground I bumped into a large figure and slipped on the ice, landing flat on my bum. "What the hell?!" I screeched without turning up to view the individual. I struggled to push myself from the ground and was shocked when a gloved hand reached down to help me up. 

"Sorry." A male's voice mumbled. After wiping off the light coat of snow, I shook my head.

"It's fine, I just...wasn't expecting it." I returned, looking up to meet his gaze. He had fair skin and dark brown hair, with even darker brown eyes. He was tall, for starters, and even through all of the attire he was wearing to protect himelf from the harsh weather, I could tell he had quite the arms. It was hard not to stare, but somehow I pulled away.

"What are you looking at?" He snapped.

My gaze travelled to his own and our eyes locked for a split second. You know that feeling, when you suddenly see someone you haven't seen in ages and you're like "holy crap, was that..." so and so? That's how I felt. Something about this man was alluringly familiar, and I felt surrounded by a strange cloud of comfort. One that could wrap it's arms around me and keep me warm. "Oh umm, nothing." I defended in a rather offended tone. It was a slip, but he didn't pick up on it.

"Well it doesn't seem to be nothing. You're looking at me like I'm some animal in the zoo. Is there something wrong with you?" His accent--which sounded faintly Australian--made his anger seem even more heated. 

"Something wrong with me? You're the bloody idiot who ran into me in the first place. Maybe next time, you should watch where you're going!" My jaw tightened and my fists clenched as I was suddenly overrun with anger. The nerve that this man had, to make such preposterous accusations upon a first impression, was absolutely alarming. He had no idea what I'd seen and what I'd done, and here he was standing before me, judging me like I was some streetwalker.

"Just move out of my way." He shook off, trying to get past me. I crossed my arms across my chest and stepped in front of him, intercepting his attempt at evading the situation.

"Not until I hear an apology out of you." I demanded. He huffed in exhaustion and ran a hand through his unnaturally disheveled hair, which unfortunately led my mind astray to rather repulsive thoughts. 

"'I'm not the one who needs to make an apology, but you don't hear me whining about it like some 3 year-old baby, do you?" He scorned me before stepping back a step for absolute balance. "Where are you going anyways that you were so intent in finding that you couldn't even look up long enough to notice that there was someone else walking?"

I was hesitant before answering, something about his posture and the way he portrayed himself was peculiar. "The gym. Why does it concern you?" His cheeks flushed and his body tensed.

"Really? You're gonna join a gym? What, are you entering some sort of superficial pageant like every other girl on the planet?"

"Wow, you are truly shallow, you know that? Why is it so hard to believe that a girl could join a gym?" He scoffed slightly and shook his head.

"Please, I've met more girls like you than I could ever imagine. And none of them would ever join a gym just for fun. They always have a reason." He added in a devilish grin. I couldn't decide if I wanted to divulge my plan to this stranger. It was a part of me, and a secret I held onto. It was the only hope I had left of leaving, and I couldn't tarnish the system. But there was no point in it, he already knew I had my own ulterior motives for joining a gym. It was already apparent that he had the ability to look right through me as if I were some ghost.

"I want to learn some self defense, okay?" I made my final attempt to leave him but he extended his arm out to stop me in mimicry, but with a genuine look of concern on his face.

"Self defense?" I nodded and his expression looked solemn. "Look, whatever issues are bothering you, learning how to fight isn't going to fix your problems."

"Oh really?" I mocked. "If getting into shape isn't necessary, than why are you doing it?" His jaw tightened, and I could tell that I had touched on a sensitive subject. 

"My motives do not pertain to you, nor will they ever."

"Exactly," I noted. "So why don't you scurry along and let me do my own thing." His guard fell and he let me pass as I made my way for the building amidst several others and I could feel him gawking at me from behind. 

"I'm Calum, by the way." He called out faintly, with a sudden burst of timidness. He had somehow suddenly morphed into a completely different person, and I was baffled.

I flipped around and plastered on a false smile, trying to mask my annoyance. I responded before leaving him alone on the icy streets. **"I'm Bree."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Okay, wow this was awful. but basically, i just really wanted to get started with this story so this is sort of a filler, but i naturally really suck with beginnings of stories. but bear with me.  
> **  
>  anyways, drop a comment down below and...yeah.  
> peace out rainbow trout.  
> // [k.b.]  
> 


	2. ii

**B R E E  
__________ **

**It didn't take long for Zayn to lose his temper after that.** "You were due back over an hour ago, where the hell did you go?!" He demanded, towering over me. He shoved me against the wall and pressed his palms to either side of my face, hovering close to my face. "Where?!"

"I-it was cold. I stopped for a moment. I must have lost track of time-"

"I asked you to be back by a decent hour. I gave you a specific time." He clenched his jaw and let out a horrifying sound that resembled a laugh. "It's the same time every damn night, and it's been like that for the past 5 years!" He slammed his fists against the wall in frustration, causing me to flinch back. His breath fanned out on my face in large gusts and I held me own, uncertain of what he may do next. He pushed himself away from the wall and turned away from me, running his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen aga-" Smack. I reached for my cheek. It stung. Tears welled up behind my eyes but I held them back. Zayn's eyes met mine and he saw the fear etched onto my face and pulled me close. 

"You had me worried sick, Bree. You know how I get when I worry." He pressed my face into his chest while he rubbed and then kissed the top of my head. "You know I only do it because I love you, right?" He pulled away and held my head as he peered into my eyes. I nodded. He sighed a breath of relief and pressed himself away from me. "Why don't you go wash up while I finish up dinner? I made your favourite, spaghetti with no chunks or meat." I complied.

I let the hot water run down my bruised body. For a while I just stood there, allowing the steam to engulf me in it's warmth, wrapping itself around me as to say that everything was going to be okay. But it wasn't, was it? How could anything ever be okay if my fate was one of eternal misery? I fell to my knees and crouched in the tub for the remainder of the timer. A way to "conserve water, time, and money", as Zayn would say. I stepped out of the tub and wrapped an already dampened towel from off the rack around my chest as I ran a brush through my hair. A muffled shout brought me back to reality, in which I threw on my clothes as quickly as possible and made my way down to the dining room to eat.

"Well it damn well took you long enough," Zayn scoffed. "Dinner was going to get cold, I was gonna have to eat it all by myself." This was a lie. The plates were still steaming, but Zayn always looked for excuses to keep the excess to himself. He was a man and a man required more energy and carbs or whatever his argument was.

"Sorry, had a huge tangle in my hair that I was fighting to get out." Which wasn't entirely untrue. I had fallen over earlier that day, and in my rush to get home my hair was blowing in all sorts of directions. 

"Well maybe next time we'll just have to cut it all off." He chuckled. I didn't. He noticed my unsettled nature and rubbed my back. "Oh let it go babe, it was only a joke. Why don't you sit down and enjoy some dinner?" He pulled out the seat and I sat down. 

As usual, we ate in silence. At least, I did. Zayn droned on about the struggles of being an entrepreneur. As usual, I smiled and nodded. There were no communicable responses, not that he would have noticed. By the time I finished the food on my plate, Zayn was up and about searching for a new bottle of wine. "You know, you outta loosen up a bit. I bet I know something that'll help." He bent over to open the liquor cabinet and reached for something in the back. His hand grazed the Rosé before he clasped a bottle and pulled it out. The item was a dark bottle, almost like cough syrup. "This'll do the trick." 

My voice caught in my throat. I wanted to protest but couldn't find it in me to say anything. If this would be anything like last time, the next day would be a hectic one; full of anxiety, fear and regret. Maybe even a little nausea following the lingering possibility of an unwanted pregnancy––which moralistically I would not be able to terminate, no matter how badly the idea of mothering a child of Zayn's repulsed me. Before I could comprehend what was happening, I was sipping on the Purple Drank as if it were candy, with an enthusiastic Zayn cheering me on, proud of his accomplishment. "There you go, doesn't that feel better?" He took the empty cup from my hand and placed it on the coffee table. "You've finally stopped resisting. Good job." He grinned, leaning back onto the couch with his jeans undone. "Now, come give daddy some love." Filled with anxiety, I fell back onto the couch, allowing the soft cushions to engulf me in their comforting warmth as Zayn started on his meal. There was no point in fighting it. Flashbacks of his overpowering strength overcame me as the nightmares flashed through my mind. 

His tight grip on my body: arms, legs, and neck. The first slap to my face, the deafening clap resounding in my mind, a chain of harsh melodies fusing together into one horrific song. Bruises and cuts decorate my body the more I resist. "Bree..." He moans. My body writing vigorously in agony as he calls my name again, only this time angrier. 

I jolted back to reality and I noticed him on top of me, his bottom half exposed. I glanced down to find my body completely bare, with Zayn clad only in a Guns n Roses t-shirt. "What are you doing? You know the routine. It's my turn now." Oh right. The Routine.

I pushed myself off of the couch as he repositioned himself. I crouched between his legs and he jutted his chin out, signalling my cue.

 

**Z A Y N  
__________ **

I woke up alone. Sheets were wrapped around my lower regions hastily, as it was not neat in any way. Clearly thrown onto me when I had dozed off, and my thrashing through the night created a tangled mess. "Bree! Get in here!" I demanded. That bitch didn't get to leave me to face her endeavours. Not on my watch.

I heard muffled footsteps quickly running down the hallway and in stepped the gorgeous body of Bree, draped in her lavender silk slip I had gotten her for Christmas. It was my favourite. In her hands she held a tray with three steaming flapjacks, three slices of maple bacon, some squares of butter, a mini pitcher of maple syrup, and a glass of orange juice. The aroma overwhelmed my senses and a smile fell on my face. So obedient. "Good girl," I reached out for the try and she extended the legs of the table on either side of my waist. "Your efficiency has improved. I'm impressed."

"Thank you Zayn..." My expression grew stern. She knew better. "Err...dad-dy..." She gulped. I grinned. She was doing so well. Maybe soon I would reward her with a treat.

 

**B R E E  
__________ **

"I'll be back at 7 o'clock, maybe a little later." He planted a small kiss to my cheek before exiting the house, leaving me relieved and relaxed. I rushed upstairs to collect my things into the small black duffel back that I had kept hidden between my nightstand and the wall, to avoid detection by Zayn. If he ever found out about my training and gym trips before I had made the progress I so desired, he would surely kill me. Or prevent me from ever leaving the house again. It was hard to tell with Zayn. I'd lose my job, the one he knew nothing about. Luckily, he wasn't a big coffee drinker so I had managed to keep my lingerie barista title a secret. It was the only way I could fund my gym membership and personal trainer. **Now all I needed was a gun.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_Sorry it's so short guys. I've been unsure of how to proceed with this for 3 years now, but I've recently been hit with a shit ton of ideas so bear with me, they're coming. I'll try to update once a week from now on, even if the chapters are short. I'm just trying to make them work somehow with my schedule. I know this is a shitty chapter but bear with me please, I just need to get back into the swing of things. I also changed Michael to Zayn btw ok bye.  
>  Anyways, drop a comment. Leave a like. All that jazz.  
>  Peace out rainbow trout. _  
>  // [k.b.] **


End file.
